One more traveling companion

I've boarded yet another flight. Not quite tired enough to give up flying. I board the plane and tell myself maybe this destination will be different. Fresh memories board the plane with me. Recent crashes that left me with injuries and life bearing scars, but were too weak to take my life. Fresh memories that would keep any sane woman from using her passport again. But I still fly. Like I said, hoping and praying that this flight will be different

I've taken my seat near the back of the plane and watch for my flight mate, my travelling companion. No one yet. Twenty minutes before takeoff, there is still time. I stare out the window, dreaming.

"Hi there."

I shake myself out of my thoughts to see him standing in the aisle. After stowing his carry-on in the overhead compartment, he sits down. (My travelling companion for the flight)

We make it through the initial introductions, buckle our seatbelts and wait until the captain's voice comes over the sound system.

"Cleared for take off"

At first I am relaxed, believing that if I just sit back and stare out the window, I can avoid conversation.

"Is this your first flight?" He asks.

So much for avoidance.

"No." A one word answer. They usually tend to deter continued discourse.

"Me either. Where are you from?"

He knows my name. Isn't that good enough. Now he wants the details. I'm not ready for this yet.

Take off. It's too late now to leave the plane. I'm committed for the duration of the flight. I look at him ever so briefly so he hasn't the moment to read my mind. Maybe this time I can risk again. It won't be long before the flight is over and the destination is reached. He will disembark as will I and that will be the end. He will leave on board any memory of the trip and I will choose to pack it all up in my carry-on luggage and take it with me. I am the one that has to choose. Now, before the turbulence, before the fall.

I look again and this time it's his eyes I see, blue as the crystal waters forty thousand feet below us. His carefree laughter and daunting smile draw me in. I gently close the window shutter. The view outside is discourging. Clouds. I can't see where I am or where I'm going. I've lost all bearing... once again.

I guess all I can do for now is hang on for the ride and enjoy the company fate has brought me. He'll leave and maybe my plane won't crash. And even if it does, will I quit flying. Only if I give up all hope of ever leaving the aircraft with my travelling companion hand in hand.